One Year In: From Panic to Purpose — Grateful, Growing, and Proof That God Finishes What He Starts

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One year ago, I decided to build my own blog and website.

Let me be fully transparent.

I had no tech education.
No coding background.
No website experience.
No computer courses.
No clue what “widgets,” “themes,” or “HTML” even meant.

I barely knew where the “publish” button lived.

Truthfully, before all of this, I had barely ever used a laptop.

I never really understood computers.
I never learned Windows.
I never took a class.

So when I felt God nudging me to step into this, I went out and bought myself a brand-new laptop.

And then it sat in the box.

For almost a week.

Unopened.

Because I was terrified.

I was afraid I would mess it up.
Afraid I would crash it.
Afraid I would break something I did not know how to fix.

I would stare at that box thinking,
“What if I ruin it?”
“What if I press the wrong thing?”
“What if I cannot do this?”

So before I was learning blogging, I was learning how to set up an entire laptop.

From scratch.

I was learning the laptop format.
The Windows format.
All of it.

How to turn it on.
How to navigate the screen.
How to find settings.
How to update it.
How not to panic when something suddenly changed.

Then I had to learn how to find apps and websites I could use for my blog.

How to download them.
How to create accounts.
How to log in without locking myself out.
How to remember passwords.

Then I had to learn how those sites actually worked.

How to build pages.
How to choose themes.
How to customize layouts.
How to add words and pictures.
How to format posts.
How to decode strange snippets of code.
How to fix things when they disappeared.

And learning how to code?

For me, that felt like trying to bake a cake in Japanese.

I know how to bake.
I know what flour is.
I know what sugar is.

But suddenly the recipe is in a language I do not speak.

Same ingredients.
No understanding.

That is what coding felt like.

I would stare at symbols and brackets thinking,
“I know this means something. I just do not know what.”

On top of that, I felt like I had to Google every other word.

I looked up almost every step before I took it.

“Let me check first.”
“Let me make sure this is right.”
“Let me double-check.”
“Okay, now I will click.”

Every step felt risky.
Every mistake felt personal.

It was not just “start a blog.”

It was:

Learn the computer.
Learn Windows.
Learn the platform.
Learn the system.
Learn the language.
Learn the structure.
Learn the publishing process.

All at once.

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Some people ease into blogging.

I cannonballed into the deep end with floaties and a prayer. Loads of prayer.

If you do not know who Benny Hill is, go look him up and watch him run.

That was me.

Trying to blog.
Trying to code.
Trying to build a website.

Chaotic.
Confused.
Arms flailing.
Clicking everything.
Breaking things.
Fixing things.
Breaking them again.

Laughing.
Crying.
Laughing.
Crying.

Repeat. Daily.

Some days I felt so overwhelmed I wanted to quit before I even logged in.

I faced this fear not with bold courage, but with huge veils of intimidation.

And determination.

Lots of determination.

I asked a lot of questions.
I got a lot of feedback.
I Googled everything.
I watched tutorials.
I made mistakes.
I face-planted publicly.

More than once.

But I kept showing up.

Somewhere between broken layouts and half-written drafts, I found my rhythm.

But something else changed in me too.

Now, when I look at something and think,
“I do not know what that is.”
“I am not trained for that.”
“I do not know how to manage this.”

I do not stop there anymore.

I learn.

I research.
I ask questions.
I study.
I educate myself.

Until I do know.
Until I understand.
Until I am capable.

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This journey taught me that “not knowing” is not a dead end.

It is just a starting point.

Maybe I am not fearless.

But I am a whole lot less afraid of what I do not know.

And a whole lot more inspired to learn and grow.

What once terrified me now brings me joy.
What once overwhelmed me now excites me.
What once made me doubt myself grew me.

This year was not about perfection.

It was about perseverance.

I was not fearless.

I was faithful while afraid.

And determined enough not to quit.

So if you are thinking about starting something new, a blog, a business, a class, a dream, and you feel unqualified, start anyway.

Learn as you go.
Ask questions.
Fall down.
Get up.
Repeat.

Even if you run like Benny Hill doing it.

One messy step at a time.

One year in.

Still learning.
Still growing.
Still grateful.

And still showing up.

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And please always remember,

You are seen.
You are held.
You are capable.
You are not behind.

“Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.”
— Arthur Ashe

“Being confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion.”
— Philippians 1:6

Standing with you in faith, hope, and humble celebration,
Tina N. Campbell | Scribed in Light